Of course I’m not the only one who is trying to write this book. I’m trying to write it with all of me. With every me that got buried over the years and who’s memories I took so much care to burn every time. It is the only way to do right by them. Do right by me.
Another not very pleasant dream feeling – when I get stuck in-between state, and am supposed to be in this world of a fantasy book I’m reading, but I’m slowly waking up and the real world overlaps and turns it into something weird like riding a metro train to battle, besieged castle having an electronic glass backdoor, me hurrying trying to find and wear my armour and only finding my real 10-year old horse riding trousers.
The frustration is real.
I was running through crowds and fighting some people in funny hats with a sabre that didn’t feel entirely real in my hand… in my dream tonight.
And my brother (who was fighting with some sort of naginata) decided to get married in the middle of all that. And I was the only one on his side of the family (hiding my sabre behind my back), and the mother of the bride cried when she thanked me for coming.
And then the enemies came, I shouted ‘Battle formation!’ and woke up.
… and I don’t even have a brother.
saw a dream
of waking up in a room and not being able to see, because it was filled with mist
and then I looked out of the open window and saw clouds flowing right past and below it,
and I could touch the clouds.
And I grabbed one and ate it, and it tasted like shaved ice and I thought that that must have been a snow cloud.
That’s how much I miss cold and misty weather.
had the weirdest dream about different reincarnations of the same lovers (just the two of them, but the two from different ages) talking to each other (about fighting some sickness that run in the family and killed them young, over and over again) and feel like I wasn’t actually sleeping (more like tossing about for five hours), and like I saw through a dozen of their lives all at the same time…
It’s kind of difficult to focus on your ‘real life’, or the ‘awake’ life,
when you feel like you just lived a whole different one in your dream
and that’s how it’s on most of mornings
maybe that’s one of the reasons why I feel so much like a ghost all the time
I saw a weird dream… about me going to an international summer school in England, like the one I used to go, … and trying to explain to them (they usually take only 10-14yo foreign kids) what I was doing there if I’ve already graduated with first-class honours from a UK university.
I think it was me wanting to spend few months just ‘learning languages, going cross-country horse riding 4 days a week and going on excursions around UK the other 3.”
Talk about the stuff kids can have that you could enjoy (and need) so much more when you’re an adult…