They were talking about all the bad habits of ‘sekkachi’ (impatient, restless, rash) people on the TV, of how they (we) constantly think of ‘what’s ahead’ and keep skipping over what is going right now… When you put it in words like that, that’s a nasty way to live.
But then, when you’re made that way it’s not like you can really change the way your brain works. These things are not just ‘personality’ you can ‘fix’, they are built in into your structure. (Even if you think it’s possible to fix it from within, it would require a lot of patient work on yourself, and thus it becomes a loop of impossible–to get the thing you need you need to already have the same thing in the first place.) And the only thing the ‘professors’ could recommend for fixing it is ‘to get fat’…because apparently big and fat animals are slower and more patient, and slow metabolism will help slow down your brain… (It’s better to not look at this sentence too closely.)
But all this reminds me very painfully of all my book projects where I have written the beginning and some ‘important plot parts’ and climaxes, but can’t find any patience to sit down and write everything that comes in between.
I keep going back to school in my dreams. Tonight, though, I also moved to Australia to become a singer. And go back to school.
Keina Daria 