Work thoughts:

  • Learned a new word a few days before.
    憤死 (funshi) – dying in a fit of anger or indignation.
    Love how there’s actually a separate word for that.
  • Amused by the culture where people believed it was easier to tell who was the father of a person, than who was the mother.
    After reading a number of biography notes starting “A son of B, mother was supposedly C.”
  • Heard people discuss a ‘dad dating’ game… with only appearing characters (as far as I saw), being the dads and their teenage daughters. 
    Still didn’t bring myself to look it up (because scary, not knowing the actual name), because I really couldn’t tell who was supposed to be dating whom in that combination.

It always amused me how easily we accept that we live in a world where ‘depression and suicidal thoughts’ are listed as a side effects of the medication which you take against the depression and suicidal thoughts.

It’s a small example of a big world-standard pattern, but I hope some will get what I was trying to say.

The weird shit I dreamt one day a while ago, was the weirdest and the shittiest shit I’ve seen in a while.
Of the things I could put into coherent words, I remembered conversationally telling someone who wad supposed to be my dead relative that I died on the final month of my pregnancy. And that was not the only dead baby present. There were also exploding buses, falling airplanes, mind-controlling and people-kidnapping slime, people turned into rings, a glimpse of porn, and sassy-talking warrior horses. Overall, imagine a 100 of weirdest sci-fi movies you’ve ever seen cut up and meshed together.

The funnest part that these dreams with my head so much, I managed to go to work without my glasses(hello eye pain and headaches all day long), work ID or phone and music charges. Basically most of things I need to function at work.

I want to escape from my thoughts into reading,

but I’m also already stressing out about the fact that I only brought 4 books with me to last me 2 weeks, none of them of the same series, and I’ve already almost finished one of them on the day 0 (on the plane).

And this is not a country where I could just go online and get the books I want delivered next day. They don’t even have Amazon here…

I also, apparently, choose stressing out and suffering without the books I want, to just buing them on my kindle. I just can’t make myself do it, even though I could just buy all the books of the series I want to continue reading right now, and it would be like 3 times cheaper than waiting before I return to Japan and order paper copies. This is so irrational I kind of want to smack myself, but feel like it still wouldn’t help.