I don’t even feel alive if it’s not cold outside.

And feeling at least a little bit alive is a big deal for me these days (weeks, months, years…).

I’m not even too prideful to admit that I’m just so tired of all I fell into that state where, I really really just don’t have anything left in me to look for a solution and fight, a just sit from day to day and wait to see if someone’s gonna magically appear and take me out of this or if I’m going to end begore that happens.

exaggerated contrast between good and bad, some strength, some bravery, some love, some steel, and horses, and some beautiful free lands, preferably with some snow, is what I need to return my peace of mind
and balance
and writing