I don’t even feel alive if it’s not cold outside.

And feeling at least a little bit alive is a big deal for me these days (weeks, months, years…).

I’m not even too prideful to admit that I’m just so tired of all I fell into that state where, I really really just don’t have anything left in me to look for a solution and fight, a just sit from day to day and wait to see if someone’s gonna magically appear and take me out of this or if I’m going to end begore that happens.