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I met an autistic boy today in the waiting room, and reconfirmed that the difference between them (autistic boys) and us (autistic girls) is really more on a surface of things than on the inside. As in, we feel the same things, but we express them, and our reactions to them, completely differently.

(We were both very uncomfortable because the lights in the room were too bright, and it was interesting to watch how he expressed himself and made sure the lights of specific color were turned off.)

It’s such a strange difference.

It also kind of feels that it’s more stressful to be an autistic girl, because we are the one’s who mask, mimic, hide, keep things inside, care about others’ reactions… While autistic boys tend to be very rigid in their routines and needs, and show their issues on the outside.

Girls try to tiptoe and camouflage (while not always successfully) while boys drive over everyone in their tanks and often don’t even notice they are doing it.

Sometimes I wish I could also drive a tank. It probably would be a bit less self-destructive than how I usually end up dealing with situations that drive me mad (as in not dealing with them and trying to endure until I get too overwhelmed and too exhausted).