on

people keep asking me if I’m gay, and if I say ‘hm, not really?’ they squint at me and say “are you sure?…”
Because apparently they are pretty sure I should be.

And when I say ‘people’, I mean both men and women of different countries.

They also tell me that “it would make more sense if you were a man” a bit too often,
… whatever that means.

And I don’t tell them that I know for sure, that if I happened to be born a man in the same circumstances I was born in, I wouldn’t be alive right now.

There was also a person once who went as far as too say that I should’ve been ‘a man and gay’, and then I would be ‘easier to understand’. 
I was so petrified by the ridiculousness of that statement I couldn’t even bring myself to ask them what the hell was wrong with their images of gender identities that they felt the need to change me twice over so that I would fit in there.

I know I have hard time relating to women, but I often had hard time relating to humans in general… And I never really felt it was a problem of my gender, and that I should concern myself with questions of how to identify… I mostly felt that it was a question of ridiculous stereotypes falsely constructed by various societies, and we should be able to be ‘men’ and ‘women’ however the hell we want. … though I do sometimes wonder what exactly makes people make these assumptions about me…