I wanted to start this sentence with ‘people who know me will know’, and then realized that yeah, those might exists only in my head, so…

Let’s try again.

What I wanted to say is that while I’m generally very anti-drug and anti-addiction by my nature (this being that something that I would expect people who know me know), as in I couldn’t get into a habitual use of anything even if I tried, and I have no desire to try what so ever (and I had more than enough chances to in the past, with smoking and people prescribing me easy-to-hooked-on drugs), sometimes I genuinely get scared of getting addicted to painkillers, just from the way it feels when they finally start working on the days when I wake up with a head-splitting headache that almost has me in tears when I can’t get in under control for three hours… And then when the painkillers finally work and I want to start crying for an entirely different reason, it feels so good that it’s the only time in my life when I can sort of understand why would someone get addicted to it.

Though, probably worth mentioning, the medicine I take is the very mild one and proper from a normal local drug store, and I’ve never actually seen the ‘funny’ sort of painkillers they often show in American tv-dramas. It’s just gets a little scary when the few hours I get on the combination of painkillers and some sweet latte is the best I feel these days.