I do hate this very common occurrence of an almost empty cafe filling to its capacity 30 minutes after I sat down hoping to write in piece and quiet.

It’s not like I even come right after the opening hours or right before lunch hours when it could be logically explained and expected.

Specifically looking for a quiet spot in a quiet book cafe just to see it get overcrowded in less than an hour after you sat down is…just sad, frustrating, and feels like an insult when you’re in an especially self-centered mood.

upd. It’s also the same with the toilet. Say you sit with a clear view of the cafe toilet (1 person at a time kind of deal) for an hour and can see that it’s not crowded and no one is waiting in front of it, in fact it’s rarely occupied. But the minute you decided to go, not only someone tries the door less that 30 sec after you lock it behind yourself (before you even manage to take your pants off), you emerge to see a 3-people line waiting for you with offended expressions.

It makes me feel stalked by a crowd of humanity.

And reminds me of that feeling when I was going around taking pictures in parks and more often than not some old man would start following around and stop to take pictures at the exact same spot at exact same angle I did a moment ago. I’m not even kidding.

Yes, I did mention an especially self-centered mood. But it’s hard to blame my moods when these occurrences keep piling up.

I’ve never let it bother me much before, but last time I was in new local supermarket they were having a マグロ解体ショー (tuna filleting display/show ?) there, calling people to watch it like a spectacle, and all I could think was “they’re making a show of dismembering a dead creature” and couldn’t get out of there fast enough.

I’m not a vegetarian (not that I didn’t try) and will definitely eat tuna, but it’s the whole ‘making it into a show’ aspect that disgusts me about humans

Has been bothering me all this time. Do people actually use the 5-star rating system in the terms Goodreads apparently wants it to be?
For the love of all bookish I see no sense in this “1 – did not like; 2 – it was ok; 3 – liked it; 4 – really liked it; 5 – it was amazing;” annotations they insist on.
I my head it was always: “1 – hated it/dnf; 2- did not like; 3 – it was ok; 4 -liked it; 5 – loved it;”.

Not going to work on a weekday and staying in a place where there are only the standard TV channels and no option to stick my HDD into the TV got me re-acquainted with such pearls of morning TV as 30-min discussion of bows on toiler paper, even longer discussion of a somewhat-famous couple enjoying sakura viewing in a park (seriously, what the fluff goes through people’s heads when they think it’s necessary to take pictures of two people sitting on grass in a park and looking at trees and then discuss every angle of those pictures at length on national tv?), and a very detailed discussion of the Imperial couple’s outfits as they pay last homage in shrines around the country before abdication. (Still better than what I caught on CNN and BBC before changing the channel though.)

In short, it’s days like this when I really begin to despise that part of my broken mind that makes me unable to function without having some kind of TV noise in the background…because no matter how much I try to concentrate on something else, time after time I catch glimpses of something that just sends the ‘damn, I really can’t understand or feel any kind of affinity with this humanity’ thought shooting through my mind.

I have very little trust and respect towards people who appear to cower before authority of any kind. Especially grown adults. People who place too much weight into vertically structured society and authority are always the first to abuse it. They’re like time bombs and I don’t like being around them.

I think my ID photos come in two types: ‘well-fed human with dead eyes’ (meaning I’ve probably been stress eating a lot and want to murder someone, or a lot of someones, so they would leave me alone) or ‘practically a vampire with somewhat alive eyes’ (meaning I haven’t really been eating or sleeping, have a face like a panda, but my flight-or-fight instincts have been kicking me enough to get me looking at least a little bit alive).

Personally, I prefer the latter, but the formers seems to be much more common…


Finally watching Oscars. I love Queen, but…I’m sorry, I really can’t stand Adam Lambert. It’s beyond me why people let him take this place… Hell, I know a small Czech cover band vocalist who would do 3 times better job

I’m feeling like my writing impulses are validated by the fact that my grandfather is walking around telling weird stories all the time and can’t stop

Wouldn’t even notice that Nikolaj Coster-Waldau is in Kingdom of Heaven (after watching it 5 times) if I didn’t decide to watch the director’s cut. And not as ‘village sheriff’, as wiki says, but as Balian’s cousin.